World-renowned cardiologist and Ex-U.S. Senator recommends Coca-Cola to Americans

February 5, 2008 – 10:24 pm

Let’s just set aside the debate on dignity for a moment and focus on what is really important about the Coke Ad starring Dr. Bill Frist and James Carville.

(But really, a cardiologist/ex-Senator saying “Jinx! Gotta buy me a coke”???)

Dr. Frist, does this mean, as a cardiologist, you’re recommending Coca-Cola to Americans, many of whom suffer from obesity, hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease?

Yessir, you’re the latest Polititard.

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Mike Huckabee delusional?

February 3, 2008 – 9:54 am

Mike Huckabee is suggesting that Mitt Romney step aside so he he (Huckabee) can have a clear shot at the conservative base.

Um… yeah…

Hey, there’s no doubt in mind that Huckabee is the better social conservative. But Huckabee has shown nothing since Iowa, thanks to Fred Thompson gumming up the works.

Does he have traction anyplace outside of the bible belt this Tuesday?

I’m not seeing it. Huckabee just isn’t a national candidate.

Pastor Huckabee, I hate to call a religious man names, but you’re a Polititard today.

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John McCain giggles like a schoolgirl

January 29, 2008 – 9:47 am

john mccain fake smileIf anyone comes across the clip of John McCain on Anderson Cooper 360 (or whatever that show is called), please send me a link!

I was bored with politics last night since the SOTU by a lame duck president was going to amount to a whole lot of nothing because there’s NO WAY a Democratic congress gives GWB and the Republicans anything that could pointed to as an accomplishment.

So, I spent my time reading a book and losing $2 playing online poker. Priorities, people!

At some point, I hear the TV get flipped over to CNN and hear an incredibly bad, incredibly uncomfortable interview with the incredibly inappropriate giggles of John McCain as he said something like, “I’m not going to attack Gov. Romney personally, but people should know…” and he listed a litany of offenses by Romney that are supposed to get good conservatives ticked off.

But, the giggles! And the fake smile! John, part of what America loves about you is the righteous indignation.

It was though he was thinking “I can’t believe this guy is giving me a run for my money” through the whole interview. Like my grandfather wondering what we all enjoyed about that crazy rock music. I mean, if you were transcribing the interview, you would put in something like this at every place you would normally have a comma:

[McCain fake smile] “But really (giggle) people need to know that Gov. Romney raised taxes by $700 zintillion (giggle) and and was fathered by Nikita Kruschev (giggle) and eats babies for breakfast (giggle).”

Seriously, it would have played much better this way:john mccain snarls

[McCain snarls] “But really (growl) people need to know that Gov. Romney raised taxes by $700 zintillion (harumph) and and was fathered by Nikita Kruschev (snort) and eats babies for breakfast (roar).”

So, for giving an absolutely terrible interview performance on the eve of the Florida primary, John McCain is a Polititard.

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Has Wonkette gone too far?

January 28, 2008 – 8:43 am

Wonkette can be an enjoyable read for those of us that revel in snark, but sometimes lines get crossed. Today’s post would one of those times:

wonkette obama kennedy endorsement

Yes, you’re reading that lousy graphic of mine correctly:

…insiders suggest that it was Kennedy’s history of killing young white bitches in his car that made him feel closer to “the black candidate”.

Congratulations to Wonkette, the Polititard of the moment.

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Rudy Giuliani’s Subliminal Endorsement

January 24, 2008 – 8:45 am

From the Giuliani campaign website:

giuliani 911 endorsement

Really, we get it. We really do. Rudy was great for NYC, and for the country, on 9/11.

But, at a time when your candidate is being criticized for invoking 9/11 every other sentence, for exploiting the memories of the people that died and the heroes that went above and beyond… is that really a time to resort to cute little word-plays?

Polititard.

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The Mitt Mobile

January 24, 2008 – 12:46 am

mitt romney campaign buss mitt mobile

I’m all for cool tag lines and alliterative catch-phrases, but Mitt Mobile is making me think of one of those mobile dog groomers, for some reason. Maybe because the only thing between Mitt and Mutt is an itty-bitty vowel.

The guy that came up with Mitt Mobile - Polititard

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Mitt Romney ready to “battle” for the black vote

January 23, 2008 – 12:00 pm

I don’t get it?

Florida is Gator Country, so why is Mitt rapping about Dogs, when the arch-rival Georgia Bulldogs beat the Gators this past season?

Oh, Mitt was trying to be down with all that for MLK Day… ooookay…

Who's the Polititard? Who? Who?

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John Kerry has Barack Obama’s back

January 23, 2008 – 9:43 am

john kerry

From www.washingtontimes.com

Sen. John Kerry… yesterday told voters he will help Mr. Obama fend off attacks.

“The truth matters, but how you fight the lies matters even more. We must be determined never again to lose any election to a lie,” he said in an e-mail to supporters.

The message does not mention Mrs. Clinton, but notes the anonymous e-mails that are circulating that question Mr. Obama’s Christian faith and said, “We’re fighting back.

“The fight is just heating up — we won’t let them steal this election with lies and distortions,” Mr. Kerry said.

Because you did such a great job last time, right Senator?

This would be like the Miami Dolphins telling the New York Giants that they know how to beat the New England Patriots.

Polititard.

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CNN: Black women only have two choices for President

January 22, 2008 – 3:23 pm

CNN tried and failed to do a piece on on black women and the choices they face: “Women are torn between voting their race, or voting their gender

Because, you know, there is no reason they might want to vote for Edwards. Hey, too bad Condoleeza Rice isn’t running. But, she’s a Republican, so she doesn’t count.

According to CNN, they also don’t care about issues either - just the race and gender of the candidate. Perhaps I’m making too much of this…

For these women, a unique, and most unexpected dilemma, presents itself: Should they vote their race, or should they vote their gender?

No other voting bloc in the country faces this choice.

Or not.

Hey, I suppose the corollary to CNN’s story is that black men and white women have it easy. Or is it just black women that vote along race/gender lines?

CNN, for racial stereotyping that sets American media back 40 years, you are Polititards!

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The New York Times forgets Ron Paul is running for President

January 21, 2008 – 8:38 pm

Found the image below on Digg:

new york times before ron paul correction

One of the Digg commenters noted that the NYT corrected the graphic in record time:

new york times after ron paul correction

No, I don’t believe an 8-year old made the first graphic, but it is still funny.

Congratulations to the New York Times for proving yourselves Polititards!

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